The only way to describe the mood I’m in right now is to say that if I lived alone, I’d rearrange all of the furniture and paint one of the walls pink.
Do you ever have those days? Where you’re looking around at your life and thinking, “Something has to change.” Not a big thing, necessarily, because I’m calm and happy about the BIG things, which means I must be restless somewhere down among the details.
Here’s the trouble, I’m in the middle of a long-term thing, hitting that stretch of time where the initial high of starting something new is gone and the momentum of nearing completion is still a long ways off. It's like I’m two steps behind the starting line of the next idea, not crossing it because I’m scared or lazy or blocked or it’s just not time yet.
Restlessness is worse than any other feeling. It’s worse than sadness and anger and jealously and grief, because there isn’t any passion in being restless. There isn’t any heat or explosion, there’s just the slow twitching pull to do something, anything, to wake yourself up.
I said to you that I could not remember August, well after much consideration I remembered.
1. I finally made the decision to buy a car that's taller than me
2. I made the decision to keep Neo at Cordwalles even if it means I won't be staying with him full time because no other school is like it.
3. I enrolled Nkhensi to a ballet class
4. My sister Mpho got engaged to a sweetheart of a man - already planning out my maid of honour role.
5. I decided to take my vocal abilities more seriously, I'm going to record my first album
6. I stopped going to work and found every excuse to not be behind my desk, I realised I need a desperate career change.
See? Nothing that interesting, I need change.
Its 8:25 on a Wed morning, what do I do? Pull myself out of bed shower and get all dressed up in pink. I'll upload you a pic of me in my pink glory.
Hopefully I'll be inspired!
Update
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