Kiss my...

Since the beginning of this year I’ve lost just over 25 kgs and learned two very important -things in the process...

1. The first is that not everyone in your life will be support you or like it when you make a big lifestyle change.

2. The second is that the way people act toward you is often less about you than it is about them.

But, let’s start at the beginning.

When I temporarily quit eating foods that were obviously making me balloon up and started adopting those that were healthier it also included changes like eating breakfast each morning, something I never did before, smaller portions of food five times a day meaning I had to plan out each meal in advance and take time to do shopping lists and even more time fixing and packing the meals. I had no idea that that one small decision would be the catalyst for an entireIy new lifestyle all together. I could consistently sleep through the night for the first time like a younger me and more....well

People keep asking me if I’ll
be able to maintain the weight lost and I’m sure I will, but not until my body learns how to play nicely with other foods that are less healthier mostly consumed after a cocktail or Champagne. Though alcohol on a night out at Sprytz is great, there just isn’t a cocktail in the world that’s worth spending the entire day feeling guilty over or working out your poor tummy over after the greasy food that accompanied it. So I started drinking less which meant I stopped going to most of my favourite drinking / socialising spots. Stayed more at home instead with my hubby of 8 years.

I also signed up for my first PMB Spar Ladies race 18 September 2011. I had never been a regular exerciser, but it’s amazing how much newly found energy I had to exercise once I started sleeping 7-8 hours a night. It felt like, literally overnight, someone had given me my life back. And so, in a very short time span, I went from drinking a lot/not sleeping/never working out to not drinking at all/sleeping like a teenager/working out 4 days a week to follow my training plan though half heartedly at most times of laziness. After all of those changes, my astonishment at the rapid weight loss can only be explained by saying that I was completely unprepared for how many people would have opinions about the changes in my lifestyle and, more than anything, the changes in my body.

Over the past few months I’ve had people go on and on about how great I look, which of course brings up the nagging inner monologue of, “So, you’re saying I didn’t look great before?” and a whole slew of other insecurities. These are my issues, of course, but I find it really hard to know how to respond when people say, “You’ve lost so much weight!” in a tone that’s more like an accusation than anything else. Making me want to say " where was your super active reaction when I a short 1,55m tall girl of size 36 max started ballooning to a size 42 approaching 44" ?

And then there are the people who immediately question whether I’m eating enough, looking at me with an expression of fake concern that secretly says, “Well, she has to be doing something self destructive to lose weight like that.” In situations like this I feel incredibly defensive, almost as if I need to be armed with proof that I’m actually the healthiest I’ve ever been so that I can satisfy other people’s judgements, because it’s these kinds of judgements that make me want to punch people square in their private parts...I'm self destructive alright! LOL! But seriously it's unfounded because I'm still regarded as obese in the medical world and have yet another 20 kgs to loose.

But, after enough close encounters with my inner demon, I realise that actually, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Not about your body, not about your job, not about your love life, not about your hobbies, not about anything, not even about your mistakes because no matter how carefully you explain yourself, there will always be people who come charging at you with their very biased opinions. No matter what, there will always be someone out there who thinks you’re getting paid too much, working out too often, or you got married too early or you share too much on your blog or you're a possible slut or easy girl or you're too beautiful when instead they are pretty insecure about their sad state of affairs in their life. But who cares? This is what I say my beloved reader:

1. Stop trying to squish yourself under the umbrella of what someone else thinks is “right.”

2. You don’t have to try to make everyone understand why what you’re doing works for you.

3.You don’t owe anyone a list of details, and you’re not owed their opinions in exchange. Just like that old quote that says, “other people’s opinions of you are none of your business,” it’s okay to make a decision that doesn’t allow for an entire chorus of tag-along opinions.

In other words, it’s okay to tell people to shut the f...up once in a while so that you can focus on the voice that matters most: your own. I'm so sorry I came across so rudely but I'm not going to dance to your tune and ,look, I have feelings, personal growth and ish... and by the way I am actually hungry as he'll craving something Greasy accompanied by something Carby. Maybe they are right I'm just not eating "enuf".





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