Thursday, April 14, 2011

Where art thou, thy Cupid? Waiting 4 forever after

When last did you hear of a new love story? The last good love story I experienced was not entirely my own but affected me as such no less. It was one involving my dearest friend, her finding love after what seemed like a never ending search, at the point where I even toyed with the idea of hooking her up with another woman.

She was horribly harsh and inaccessible to anyone least of all men. 'No I don't want to date, I am not ready, I just don't like anyone' were the words I was told and had to hear. She was comfortable sharing sadness and protecting her ex in a way, keeping him updated with her every move so that he knew that she hadn't moved on.

While their breakup was the most painful thing I've (yes I) ever experienced, hurtful, shocking, and deep. I have come to realise that it was what needed to happen then. Save that it exhausted me and literally ran dry my well oiled comforting smsing machine.

For the first time ever I did not have anything to say and had a writer's block, "what doesn't kill you would make you stronger" started loosing value after being said a little over 6 times,kind of reminds you of scratched CD that's agonisingly too far for you to reach and pause.

Eventually, slowly... she untied the knots and ropes watched it sail away. She knew it had been too long, the pains had caused weed in her heart it was time for new growth in her overgrown heart. Sadly my hunch always tells me that bits and pieces of our friendship (though too small to weigh)
drifted along with some of those bad relationships.

Before I start to get teary eyed about the latter and loose complete sight of the subject at hand let me tell you that I beamed and gleamed (like a glowing bride) when her knight in shining armor finally came through. Late and bearing a pound or two of baggage from taking a long pitstop at a wrong turn, her knight got the himself a new compass and with applaudable courage took the road less travelled which eventually landed him in her ready arms. Though the delay was somewhat inconvenient when he came, she came back happier than I've ever made her or seen her, the kind of happy only someone like him could intensify.

Why do we take so many wrong turns before being led to the One? I also took a number of wrong turns, thinking I'd finally arrived home,this is it... I got my man and it turns out they are only there for a minute, literally a minute in return for months and months of wallows and cries and self pity as though I was taken by complete surprise. These "wrong turn" guys (okay except one whose heart was shattered by me) were masters of best intentions and everything they intended to make "better" they ended up leaving torn apart. I didn't really care, I just hoped I could ignore the red flags, the imperfections presented to me constantly tearing each of my heart strings apart and until there was nothing left to spare.

Thank God for my Zama in high school, my Lungile in my early twenties; my Lindani then now and forever. These talented girls have mastered the art of taking my heartaches into hopeful smiles, eventually leading to new growth.

As you might already know I found my forever love, the path leading to him baked me, made me ready to be receptive of his love. I am well versed and have learnt that no amount of crying will ever make you ACTUALLY CRUMBLE, and sometimes, that's actually the worst part.

Being married really does involve falling in and out of love constantly only just with the same person ( and pray he never strays)

Enough about me, it turns out that Cupid has been a lazy bum of late, shooting at all the wrong angles and missing even easy targets. My friend's story is nearly 2 years old. A girlfriend of mine woke me up with an email informing us (her girlfriends)with a prospective story of reconciliation with an ex, we expressed our joy as she was always happy with him, her email is actually what promoted me to write about this.

You see (though we hate ourselves for this), its a known fact that we girlfriends don't actually like exes. This presents a tricky problem for you if you plan to chase that waterfall again. How do you (the go prosecutor) whose heart was broken and mended, bandaged by our love) convince us (the jury) that he's no longer the criminal? That the correctional service (the break up) has made him learn the price of his crime?

Let me say that like any average girl I love happy endings and that of my girlfriends is like my own so don't misquote me as I may see potential, but the story as it is sounds as though it has holes in it, lacks spices, the kind love that Cupid could easily edit were he not on this unannounced holiday. He could end it with a proposal, me playing matron of honour and errr maybe my babies (Nkhensi and Neo) as as flower girl and page boy! Yes, I do think that life is all about me*hides*

I am still in bed and today my stiches come out, promising me that my work out sessions are on the pipeline.I guess this prospect will be sufficient enough to keep me happy till then :-)


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