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Being well rested is not only good for my skin but also my writing. I realise now in this short break, that I would trade my job in a heartbeat for a chance to write all day if it paid the bills.

Like in any job though there are times when I get lazy, less interested in completing sentences, editing out spelling and grammatical errors and stories that have huge holes in them.

I notice this when my FB friends inbox me with further points of clarity or questions about my some of my entries.There must be a good reason for these holes, for one it leaves enough room for assumption, and as you know assumptions are a mother all fuck ups. This suites me just fine and safe guards my holes and in place your unique endings or different thoughts for each of my stories. I've said before that some experiences are to be displayed out in reality, and in reality even the best reality shows are scripted.
When it gets hard to show up here, in my full "Weight Indecency"regalia all witty, bearing all my truthful accounts as memoirs, I am strengthened and motivated by your inboxes and messages from friends wanting another fix of my memoirs and reminding me that its been a while since the last posting. I thank you for this, I am greatful that the internet has created an opportunity to touch more hands than I ever could physically. Its nice to let people "carry your weight" when you can't, it feels good to let someone show up for you.

You remind me that I am a Lion and from the depths of my being I will remain a capable warrior and prove strength and resilience to achieve healthy weight target I have set for myself.

On Monday I go back to work and will obviously not be able to post as much, however I will keep you updated now and then. This is the progress to date.

After months of giving up I had a dinner date on 25 January 2011 with a friend I had not seen in ages, Mbeko a girlfriend of mine who expressed shock and dismay at the fact that I had not lost any weight from my previous pregnancies. She told me I was too young to pile on so much, that I was becoming unrecognisable, that it was time to pack lite.

I had thought that I was not ready, that i will start working out the next week and then the next until a year then years passed. I know that behind the camouflage beautiful hair and make up I must have looked outrageous, a 1,56 m frame carrying 107 kgs weight. Her words were harsh and hurtful but to the point where I woke up from my delusional dreams, I woke up early, worked out, lost weight and got motivated to loose more. Looking back I realise that I had constant back aches, breathing and sleeping problems that I thought were a part of my stressful job.

Thanks to her I sleep like a baby. I am not rushing at this, just listening to my body and taking queues from it. When it is not ready it is not ready. No amount of checking the cake every 10 minutes will make it bake faster, and any faster will require more heat, it will burn. Baby steps, I say...

On 25 January 2011
Starting Weight: 107 kg

I was overweight by 47 kg!!!!!!

Today 15 April
Current Weight: 89 kg

I have lost 18kgs :-)
I have 29 kgs still to loose :-(

Target set: 60 kg


What I have not told you is that I am scared.


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