If you know me well you know that i never take full length photos. I would always take head shots because I know
that beyond the fat that I wont let you see I am a really blessed to be a beautiful girl. I took my first full length photos this week as well as my first bra and underwear pics. It's not looking too bad at all my friends. There is hope after all, I have SHAPE! I feel SEXY!
I think I'm going through those phases where I could either work harder at my goal or completely give up. It's a thin line between the two. I know this place it's all too familiar, I've been here before where giving up is all too easy. Most times than not I have given up.
The only difference this time is that I could see it coming from a distance away and I was better prepared, guns blazing. I have been off gym for far too long, and the Dr. asked me to hold my forces for yet another week. That will bring me to a total 4 weeks without much exercise. I am thankful that I have lost rather than gain weight but this zest for gym can only be active for so long before I run for that KFC, that fresh cream doughnut, my NikNaks then it's downhill from thereon.
I know that if I gave up now I would never forgive myself, I love myself far too much now and the confidence that this has brought me is absolutely priceless. I have come to know me in a way I never thought I could, and that I deserve better from myself. That hiding behind big proud and fabulous will no longer cut it.
It's a tough tough world, I get anxious because I have learnt during this period that the energy and time it took to gain all this weight, is what it will take to loose it - years. The longer I am kept off gym the longer it will take to reach my goals, especially running my first race. September is still a while away, hopefully I can still get up and get back on track, excuse the pun...
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