A winner all round

The scale can be such a scary instrument especially if it is used to directly measure loss, weight loss in my case. I have been avoiding checking the progress because I am generally scared to fail and I knew that if it said anything than what I was expecting it will demotivate me and possibly cause me to go back to square 1. I have become such a perfectionist in my adult life (when it suites me ofcourse) I worry about the little things until they manifest into something much bigger than they are. This weekend I spent some quality time with ex school mates from high school. I had not seen most of them for about 11 years and felt anxious about meeting them. I was mostly worried that after so long I might not have much in common with them not have anything to talk about. I toyed wih the idea of cancelling but it was too late as I had been the first one to eagerly rsvp for this gathering but little did I know that my BFF will have to cancel at last minute due to work commitments. Nevertheless I arrived at the venue and sat outside in my car contemplating on my entrance, I used my rear view mirror to practise my facial expression and how I was going to greet them. Whether to say Hi in that high pitch voice I had at high school to bring familiarity or a more modest hello which closely resembles how I would greet now. 11 yesars ago I was only 18 very innocent but lacking in self confidence, I spent so much time and effort misrepresenting who I realy was just so I could fit in. I am definately no longer that girl and I feared that they might reject this woman I have become, that I would be spending the rest of the day feeling obsque not quiet fitting in whilst they reminisce on the good old high school days - which actually never that good for me to start of with (but thats for another day). When I finally got myself and my daughter out of the car I was pleasantly surprised by the warm welcome of smiles I remember from so long ago, by then it did not matter how I greeted what tone I used and frankly I cant even remember how I greeted them - all I know is that it was natural. I immediately felt comfortable in my surroundings at this beautiful home in Fourways and soon learnt that we had all changed. We now possesed so many qualities that make us unique and yet admirable. In high school we aimed so much to be similar and to fit in with others that it left little room for individuality. Here I was in this room with these fabulous ladies so different and carved out in our different roles and careers and yet we could relate to each other better than we ever did. I went out of my way to join this gathering and enjoyed it so much. I also decide to go out of my way and weigh myself for the first time since 24 September. I found out I am no longer in the tripple digits and that I am now 99.6 kgs. I have lost 6 kgs, now thats a loss I wont miss. I am feeling and looking better everyday. I am a winner and this achievement makes me more determined to go further.